SJ Mercury News Article - For Your Journey

Posted on Sat, Jul. 16, 2005

Valley mom leaves rat race to follow her heart's desire

By Sue Hutchison

Mercury News

Donna Lopez can't remember the exact moment when her midlife crisis turned into an epiphany. It was before she got her nose pierced and put fire-red streaks in her dark hair. It was after the breakup of her second marriage.

Suddenly she was certain that continuing to work in a Silicon Valley cubicle was not her destiny. So, she looked down into the bleak post-dot-com landscape from her perch in a secure, high-paying job at Hewlett-Packard -- and she jumped off. Goodbye ``senior financial analyst'' and LaserJet printers. Hello ``New Age store proprietor,'' scented candles and yoga mats.

Journey to joy

Lopez sold her house, walked away from an $80K salary and opened what she describes as an ``inspirational center,'' called For Your Journey. It's a combination bookstore, gift shop and meditation space in a little storefront on The Alameda in San Jose.

``Two years ago, I didn't even know what `metaphysical' meant, and now I run a place that offers yoga classes,'' she told me last week as she lounged in an armchair in her shop. ``I don't know what's going to happen with it, but I'm not walking around with a knot in my stomach like I did in my old life. I'm really happy.''

At 39, Lopez is on the young side for a midlife crisis. But maybe because she became a wife and mother by the time she was 20, she was quicker to arrive at what author Sue Shellenbarger calls ``The Breaking Point.'' Shellenbarger's book, subtitled ``How Female Midlife Crisis Is Transforming Today's Women,'' documents a new trend among millions of over-stressed middle-aged women who take advantage of their higher incomes to make a radical change and find their heart's desire.
To hear Shellenbarger tell it, the female midlife crisis is almost always triggered by the realization that ``you are on a path to a place you don't want to go.'' That's what happened to Lopez even though she had achieved the life she always thought she wanted.

She grew up in San Jose and was raised by her grandmother after her parents split up. Because she ``craved normal,'' she married at 18 and had her daughter, Dana, barely two years later. She started in the accounting department at HP, and, even without a college degree, she worked her way up to being a financial analyst.

Healing process

Meanwhile, she ``grew out of'' her first marriage and fell in love with a colleague she thought was her dream man. But he wasn't. When that marriage broke up four years ago, she sold her house in Santa Clara and moved to less-expensive Vacaville ``to heal.'' Her bosses let her work from home.

``I was treated so well at HP, but I knew I wanted something else,'' she said. ``I took yoga and spent a lot of time in the self-discovery section at Barnes & Noble.''

Not long after that, Lopez found herself shopping for inventory at New Age trade shows, and Dana, now in college, helped her set up the store space she'd rented with chairs and bookshelves from Ikea. Her little oasis on The Alameda has been gradually building a faithful clientele, but Lopez is fighting to stay in business. She sold her house in Vacaville and moved into an apartment in San Jose. Still, she wouldn't trade her new life.

``We've created this message in Silicon Valley: `Acquire and you'll be happy,' '' she said. ``I wanted this to be a place that tells people, `Be happy and peaceful, and then you'll appreciate what you acquire.' ''

Hey, it worked for her.